Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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