If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
