my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
How external is "for external use only"?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
