It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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