Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
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He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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