I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
