ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
