What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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