as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dignity is for republicans.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
