He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i dont even know how to be here
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
