you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
