Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
