She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
