Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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