How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
