Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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