She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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