hotel room ftw
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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