Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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