And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
