guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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