I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
