Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize