he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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