Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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