Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
