question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize