So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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