tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
