Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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