if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
