I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
