I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
