The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
