I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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