I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
