Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize