You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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