i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you would pick up someone in the library
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize