someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
