that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
