I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
