Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
