I'm sorry my penis didn't work
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
