As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
