I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Last time i carry you out of a forest
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
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