The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
