You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Boobs are out for the taking
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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