I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
