When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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