I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
