normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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