I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize