They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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