idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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