My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
