I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
