The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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