how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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